In The End
by Witch
Summary: Paige become increasingly depressed as she remembers her life so far, the death of her parents, growing up in foster homes etc... VERY DEPRESSING PLEASE R&R --- FINISHED
1. Memories

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the charmed characters or shit like that. This applies to all the chapters in this story.

In The End

Memories

                Paige wandered through the Halliwell manor finally arriving at the kitchen door. She walked into the kitchen where she saw Piper standing over a hot stove, she saw many cracked egg shells; Piper was making omelettes. Paige sniffed and walked over to Piper,

                "Morning honey," said Piper upbeat, "What kind of omelette do you want?" she asked placing another couple of eggs into her mixing bowl.

                "Nothing for me thanks," replied Paige, her voice was toneless and showed no emotion, she walked over and began to make some cereal, she poured the crisped rice into the bowl until they almost spilled over. Then went to the refrigerator to get some milk,

                "For someone who's not hungry that's an awful big bowl of cereal," said Piper jokily. She walked over to join Paige who was currently pouring milk into her overflowing bowl. Piper jabbed Paige in the ribs and smiled at her, Paige's head jolted and she struck out at Piper. Her hand came flying up knocking the cereal on the floor and striking Piper across the face. The bowl smashed on the floor sending bits of broken ceramic flying everywhere under their feet. Piper's cheek grew red and Paige stood and stared at the damage she had caused as though in some sort of dream. Piper put her hand to her cheek and looked at Paige, the front of her pyjama's were covered with milk and her slippers where floating in the stuff. Piper looked at Paige, realised something was wrong she began to call her name,

                "Paige?" said Piper tapping Paige face, "Paige? Hello?" she continued realising this wasn't working Piper clicked her fingers several times in front of Paige's face, this brought Paige back to earth. She blinked a couple of times before her eyes welled up with tears,

                "Oh God, Piper… I'm so sorry," she said between sobs, the droplets of salty sorrow ran down Paige's cheeks and feel to the floor.  Paige pushed past Piper and headed for the door, she ran out of the kitchen back to her bedroom. She walked into the room wiping the tears from her eyes, she let her body collapse onto the bed and reached out for a pillow. Held it against her face and screamed. She screamed long and hard but the sound was muffled by the pain echoing from her heart, and the pillow. She dropped the pillow and let it lay on the bed beside her; she nervously ran her hand through her hair, digging her knuckles into her scalp. She was shaking uncontrollably

*** Flashback ***

                The car tyres screeched as Paige's father slammed his foot down on the brakes but it was too late. The car collided with the truck and was sent flying into the air. Paige screamed and heard her parents screaming. Suddenly she was on the road. Rolling past the burning wreckage in which she had sat not long before. The fire burned for what seemed like a life time as the flames engulfed her car and her parents. Paige lay on her stomach staring up at the burning car, the heat was intense, but not as intense as what she was feeling. She didn't understand what was happening… it all seemed like some kind of dream. Paige stood up and walked as close to the car as she could get without the flames getting her,

                "Mom?" she called, her voice echoed through the streets as she heard sirens approaching "Dad?" Paige felt her arms being pulled at, a man in a fire man's uniform was pulling her away as others began to extinguish he flames. "Mom!" Paige screamed as she fought against the fire fighter, but he pulled her back. He pulled her over to an ambulance that had pulled up and sat he inside, the paramedics looked Paige over there wasn't a scratch on her. Once the flames were dead and the firemen began to clear Paige walked over to the car. She looked in the passenger seat window and saw her mother, charred and burned. They were dead… both of them.

*** Present Time ***

                Paige jolted out of her flashback when she heard a nock at the door; she wiped new tears off her cheeks and walked over to the door. She pulled it open and was greeted by Piper, she looked very concerned.

                "Hey Piper, I'm really sorry about what happened down there," said Paige trying to act casual but no amount of acting could cover the redness of her face and the whimpering sound in her voice, Piper walked into the room and sat on the bed she was joined by Paige. Wrapping her arm around her sister she pulled her head in close to her chest.

                "Paige, what did happen down there?" she asked stroking her sister soft crimson hair, Paige shrugged and sniffed, she could feel the tears coming again she got that tickly feeling in her nose you get when you're about to cry or about to sneeze. Paige looked upwards with her eyes trying to stop the tears from coming,

                'Nothing…" she began but paused and sniffed, "Just today… is sort of… well its hard to explain… I'm really sorry," she finished, by this time fresh tears were flowing down her face and landing on her hands.

                "Its ok Paige," sighed Piper, "Do you want to be alone?" she asked looking deep into her sisters teary eyes,

                "Yeah," replied Paige, nodding causing the tears that were gripping to her face to fall to the ground.

                "Ok," replied Piper, she kissing Paige lightly on the forehead and headed for the door, before leaving she turned around "when you need to talk you know where I am," she said and walked out closing the door behind her. As soon as the door closed Paige burst into tears, she was holding them back since Piper came in and couldn't stop them anymore. Piper stood outside the door, she could hear Paige crying but couldn't do anything; Apige wanted to be left alone… there was nothing she could do.


	2. Crying into the moonlight

Disclaimer – Same as before

Crying in the moonlight

                'I don't really know what happened she just zoned out then she slapped me, I clicked my fingers a couple of times and that brought her back. But she just burst into tears and fled to her room. I waited a couple of minutes and went up after her but she was so upset, I don't know why." Piper paused and took a sip of her lemon and honey grass tea, she put the tea cup down and continued, "She said she wanted to be alone so I left her by herself.  But as soon as I closed the door I heard her burst in to tears… I wanted nothing more to run in and comfort her but if she won't tell me what's going wrong I don't know what to do," Piper finished and looked to Phoebe for advice,

                "I don't know what to you, if something is bothering her that much we'll just have to let her tell us in her own time. We can't force her to be ok and we can't force her to confide in us." Phoebe stood up and left the solarium she walked into the kitchen where Leo was sitting cuddling baby Wyatt. She walked over and sat down beside him and was closely followed by Piper.

                "Can you sense what's wrong with Paige?' asked Piper smiling at her son; he lay in Leo's arms gurgling away to him self quite contently. Leo concentrated for a moment,

                "All I can sense is that she is in a lot of pain," replied Leo glumly, "And she's panicking," 

                "Well we have to go and talk to her," replied Phoebe standing up from the table and heading for the kitchen stairs, Piper followed her and grabbed hr arm,

                "No Phoebe, if Paige wanted to talk she would have come down, she needs space," said Paige and that was the conversation over.

                That night Piper lay awake in bed, she could her Paige crying in the next room. She wanted to go in and cuddle her sister, and tell her everything was going to be alright. But she couldn't she had to let Paige sort things out. She put a pillow over her head and tried to drift off to sleep, she did but if was a very uneasy one.

                Meanwhile in the next room Paige stood at her window, the moon was right outside, it was full and seemed to be staring down on her. Mocking her even, Paige pulled her curtains closed causing darkness to enclose the room. She walked over to her bed and sat down, tears continued to drip down her face. She picked up her diary she used to keep, things had become so crazy since she had discovered she was a witch she had stopped keeping a journal. She looked through the pages, there were pictures stuck in here and there. One of her parents, one of every house she had ever lived in. She kept flicking until it came to the last day she had every written in her journal, she read through the pages and let her tears fall onto the fading ink. Her breathing became short and fast, she couldn't slow it down and she couldn't stop the tears from flowing. She pulled the last page of the diary and tore it into a thousand pieces, then she worked her way back tearing up every page until nothing but the spine of the book remained. She threw it against the wall and let her body fall back onto the bed, She began shaking again as more memories flooded her brain. 

                "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" Paige repeated slowly and quietly so no one could hear. She sat up and shakily wandered through the bathroom, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" she kept saying until she was yelling, she went into the bathroom and continued yelling. She bolted the door and sat down on the toilet, she began shaking her head as she continued yelling, soon there was knock on the door. 

                "Paige honey, are you ok?" asked Phoebe, outside she Piper and Leo where standing all looking very concerned.

                Inside Paige began fishing around in the bathroom drawer and then she laid her hand on what she had been looking for. She pulled out a razor; she easily enough snapped the sides off so she could lift the blade out with effortlessly. The small metal blade shone in the light form the street lamp outside as Paige raised it into the air. _It's all about to end… Paige thought to herself… __Soon enough there will be no more suffering… no more hate and no more pain. Slowly she brought the blade down, nearing her pale wrist flash…_

_Soon it will be over… soon the blood will flow…_

A/N Hey did you guys like this Chapter… I'm really getting into the story I hope you guys like it. And didn't cry too much I was in tears writing it. Please review and tell me what you think.


	3. Bid my blood to run

Disclaimer – as usual

                Bid my blood to run

                The blade twinkled as it pierce Paige's skin, no sooner had it touched her skin than the deep red life force began to flow like a river from her wrist. The blood droplets splashed onto the cold white floor of the bathroom,   Paige moved the razor blade from her right wrist to her left and made a other deep incision. More blood flowed from that cut.

                "Goodbye, Piper, Phoebe, Leo… goodbye everyone," yelled Paige as the strength drained from her body, she fell from the toilet seat where she was perched and slumped on the floor. Outside Piper began banging on the door trying to force it open, Phoebe bend down trying to see under the door but she could see nothing, she looked up at Piper with despair written all over her face. Piper expression suddenly blanked as she saw the deep red liquid flowing from underneath the door.  

                "Leo get in there quick…" Piper began but before she could finish the door opened and Leo was holding Piper in his arms, her wrist hung lifelessly at her side and her body drooped over his build.

                "Call nine, one, one," he said quickly as he rushed Paige down stairs, he put her down on the couch and put her arms over her body.

                "Leo can you heal her?" asked Phoebe who was worryingly dancing about behind him while Piper called for am ambulance.

                "That's why we need an ambulance, when someone deliberately hurts themselves I can't do anything… there body won't allow it," he said holding a towel again Paige's wrists trying to stop the blood flow. Piper hung up the phone and came running into the living room,

                "How bad is she Leo?" she asked standing behind him, and placing her warm hand on his should, it was a comfort in comparison to Paige freezing hand he was holding.

                "Judging by the state of the bathroom she's really bad, she has lost a lot of blood… where is that ambulance?" he said angrily.

                "Why not orb us there?" asked Phoebe suggesting anything to be helpful,

                "Too suspicious," replied Leo, "Beside the ambulan…" he began but paused as he saw bright lights outside the house and heard sirens wailing. "There here," he replied as he lifted Paige and carried her out to the ambulance. Phoebe got into the car while Piper jumped in the ambulance. Phoebe waited a few moments until Leo joined her. The ambulance sped off into the distance and was closely followed by Phoebe and Leo in the car.

                Piper sat in the back of the ambulance as one of the paramedics hooked lots of lines into Paige,  one giving her blood whilst he tried to stop her form bleeding. Piper sat biting her nails, and playing with a strand of her hair. Suddenly the line went dead, 

                "There's no output," said the paramedic, "we need to pull over," the ambulance pulled to the side and the other paramedic came into the back and began to work on Paige. Tears flowed down Piper's face as she watched,

                "What's happening?!?" she yelled, but she was ignored, she saw Leo and Phoebe pull up behind the ambulance as the paramedics continued to talk in medical terms… Piper was usually ok at understanding what everything meant but complete despair and panic had taken over her brain. 

                As the heart monitor continued to have one long beep and the paramedics keep shocking Paige; Piper continued to cry… 'What's happening to her?"

A/N Oh I am evil!!! ** does an evil laugh ** leaving things on such a cliff hanger ^_^


	4. Save me from the dark

                Disclaimer – I don't own anything… same as usual

                A/N – I know this chapter is really short but it's the best I could do I have more to write but I don't want to rush everything into the one chapter so you might have to deal with short chapters. Thanx for the review Charmed Writer… you're a dawl.

                Save me from the dark

                Piper continued to cry and as what was going on until Leo pulled her out of the ambulance and held her in his arms, he kissed her fore head and placed and arm round Phoebe. She wasn't yelling, she wasn't crying she was just staring, as though she was in disbelief. They heard the paramedics say "clear" about four times before they heard a faint beeping sound from the heart monitor,

                "We've go an output," said one of the paramedics, Piper ran at the ambulance and climbed aboard as Phoebe and Leo headed back to the car.

                "Is she going to be alright?" asked Piper as she sat shaking in the ambulance. "Answer me, please," she said holding back even more tears.

                "She's very ill, we have to move." he said as he continued to work on her. They arrived at the hospital in a matter of moments however it felt like a life time; Paige was unloaded from the ambulance and rushed straight into intensive care. As Piper and company followed they were greeted by and area closed off to them by two great wooden doors.  A nurse in a blue uniform showed them to the waiting area, and showed them the coffee machine.

                Half an hour past as Piper, Phoebe and Leo sat outside in the waiting room, Phoebe sat with her head in her, though most of her tears had subsided she could not hold back a mild whimpering. Piper sat beside Leo who had has arm wrapped around Piper shoulders. A man in a doctors uniform came through the big wooden doors, he walked over to them

                "Are you here with Paige Matthews?" he asked, gesturing with his hands. Piper nodded,

                "Is she going to be alright?" she asked cupping her hands over her mouth after she finished talking, the surgeon sighed,

                "Well if by alright you mean will she survive then yes she will. However she is seriously ill, she lost a lot of blood and her heart stopped beating. We gave her a blood transfusion and hooked her up to some oxygen but it's as though her body just stopped fighting…" he sighed again, "If she tries anything like this again she won't survive it, I'll take you in," he said leading them past a sign that read 'Intensive Care' Piper walked with Leo and Phoebe trailed behind them. The came to a ward, Paige was the only one in it. She was in a bed at the far end next to a window, she looked the back of a stereo, wires going in and out of her all over the place. It was more severe that the doctors were willing to admit, she was hooked up to oxygen and she had had a blood transfusion but she was also hooked up to more than one drip, a heart monitor, it was steadily beeping… for now. Piper walked over to the right hand side of Paige bed and sat on the chair next to it; she took Paige's hand and held it in her own. She was freezing cold; the bandages that were round her wrists were soaked with blood. The cuts hadn't healed properly yet, and the doctors couldn't do much until she started fighting.

                "Paige?" said Phoebe quietly who was now standing on the left side of Paige's bed, Paige's eyes fluttered and she blinked as they adjusted to her new surroundings. She started breathing quickly as she looked around at her relatives, a single tears fell down her cheek ;

                "Go away," she snivelled under her breath, Piper wiped the tear off Paige's cheek and stood up,

                "It's ok Paige, you don't have to tell us anything… we just want you to get better is all," she said, and waited for her answer.

                "Why?" Paige began seeing the shocked look on everyone's face she finished her sentence, "Why did you… save m… me?" she stuttered as more tears formed in her eyes.

                "Because we love you Paige and we don't want to lose you," replied Phoebe, Paige sniffed and looked up at Phoebe,

                "So did they… but it didn't help… they … the… th…" she tried to finish but soon couldn't say anything for tears. "I want to sleep," she said "I'm tired, please go," So they did. They left Paige alone in her ward.


	5. Conversations with my mind

Disclaimer: What do I own… Not a hell of a lot and definitely not charmed… I wish I did though ** cried unhappily**

A/N: this chapter is probably going to be another short one but read my last A/N and you'll know why.

Conversations with my mind

                Leo, Piper and Phoebe drove back to the manor in complete silence. It was not an awkward silence jus the kind where no one knew what to say, no one understood what Paige was going through or how to help her. The car turned into the driveway and everyone got out, the sun had risen a couple of hours ago, as everyone went inside. The manor seemed so empty; they walked through to the living room. There was a stain on the couch where the blood from Paige's cuts had dripped off her body. Phoebe had to get to work soon, her new boss Jason wasn't big on days off and going to work would keep her mind off things. Piper had to open the club later, it was a Saturday so she had to do a stock take. Hopefully she wouldn't think too much about things while she was doing that. They walked through to the kitchen,

                "I got to go honey," said Leo, breaking the resilient silence, "The elders want to know what's happening to Paige," he said, he kissed Piper on the forehead and orbed out. Piper and Phoebe sat in the kitchen and heard the clock chime nine 'o'clock,

                "I've got to get to work," said Phoebe walking out of the kitchen, "I'm going to visit Paige in my lunch hour, that's at one if you want to join me," she said and then headed for the door and out to work. Piper followed Phoebe out, though she didn't have to be at the club until 10:00 she thought driving around would help her take her mind off things.  She grabbed her car keys and got in the car and headed for the club. 

                Meanwhile Phoebe was just arriving at the newspaper, she got out of the elevator and headed for her small office, she opened the door to find Jason sitting at her desk reading through some letters that were sprawled out across her desk. She walked in and put her bag on the desk,

                "Get out," she said without thinking, she saw the shocked look that had spread across his face and snapped back to reality,

                "Excuse me?" he asked smugly, Phoebe sighed and began to apologise,

                "Sorry Jason, I'm not in a very good mood today… family trouble, so I suggest you keep everyone away," she said as she sat down on the chair he had vacated,

                "Can I help?" he asked headed for the door.

                "No," she replied sombrely. Sensing that she was not in the mood for there usually challenging each other game he left. Slamming the door behind him. Phoebe began to read one of the letters that lay on her desk; she managed to concentrate for about ten minutes before her mind wandered to more important things.

                _Why won't you let me in Paige? _ Phoebe thought _I don't understand what she's going through but she won't tell me, why won't she just let me in? Maybe she doesn't trust me… maybe that whole thing with Cole, him being a demon and her knowing about it, stunted our relationship more than I thought. Maybe she doesn't want to upset me again so she doesn't want to tell me her problems… no that can't be it… can it?  Phoebe's mind wandered and danced around, not once concentrating on her letters she looked down at the letters __how can I even think about answering other people's problems… I'm too busy with my own. That's it, that's why she won't tell s what's wrong… there no our problems there Paige's. If it were Prue she would tell us because we grew up with her, but we didn't grow up with Paige. We barely know her; come to think of it we know only what she told us and according to what happened that isn't very much…_

Piper drove along the high way heading to P3, she pulled up in front of the club and sat in the car for a few moments before going in, the club was buried in darkness barring a small window near the back that over looked a booth. Piper walked over to it and sat down; she looked around at what she had build over the past few years, a successful club and everything she ever wanted. But now her world was shaken up, she could help but blame herself, _Why__ didn't I see this coming? I saw how upset Paige was this morning and me being so stupid thought she just slept funny. No wonder she slit her wrists, I don't even know her and that whole thing with Cole didn't help her and Phoebe relationship… she must feel like such an outsider. But I don't know how to help her… I think that this has more to do with her than it does with us. Until she opens up there isn't much we can do… I just hope she opens up to us before she opens those wounds again._

                As 10:00 approached Piper and Phoebe sat at opposite ends of town with their minds on their sister, while she lay asleep in her hospital bed, her mind on something entirely different…

A/N Ok so this chapter wasn't very good I wrote it in a rush… I promise to re-write it and make it sooooo much better hitting on more emotion please review and tell me if you think I should.


	6. The Dream, The Darkness

Disclaimer: I own nothing **cries**

The Dream… The darkness

                Paige lay asleep in her ward, for the first time in a week she was having a peaceful dream… it was waking up that would disappoint her. __

_                Dressing a long flowing white dressed Paige lay in a bed of water, it was crystal clear and had thousands of waterfalls yet remained calmed except from when she moved… that was all she could see, everything else was darkness. She seemed to be moving though she could tell where she was going. She tried to sit up but was restrained to the lake; she looked ahead of her and saw her parents. _

_                "Mom… Dad," she said as tears began to drip down her face, she looked up at her parents; a familiar orange glow surrounded them. They were waving to her and smiling, suddenly she felt the feeling come back to her limbs. She forced herself to stand up; she was literally walking on water. She ran over to them, feeling the drops of water splashing up her legs as she went. When she reached them she threw her arms around them, she had forgotten what it felt like to hug them… what they smelled like… her father of a pub lunch and her mother of a cheap supermarket perfume. She pulled out of the hg and stared at them, her mother's blue eye's shone down on Paige her lips curved upwards._

_                'Paige, we've missed you so much," said her mother kissing Paige's forehead and hugging her again._

_                "I couldn't find you," Paige started but as started so did tears, 'I got so lost and I didn't know where you went" she sniffed and pulled her parents close to her._

_                "Paige, you know where we are, you know we will always be with you in spirit, we will always find you," said her father smiling. Paige looked down at the water, what was once crystal clear had turned blood red,_

_                "I know, but I don't want to be with you spiritually, I want to be you all the time. And I know what I have to do to make it happen," Paige said sighing, "I'm not strong enough to survive another attempt, I have to be with you," Paige replied as she pushed her parents back, "I have to…" she replied as she ran across the water._

_                "Paige no!" yelled her mother… but it was too late…_

                Paige woke up in her hospital bed, the dream still firmly implanted in her mind, she blinked a couple of times as her eyes got used to her surroundings. She climbed out of bed after unhooking her drip and various other lines. She stumbled over to the ward door, her legs were shaky and she was very weak. Her body still recovering from the events from the night before. She walked along the hospital corridor, she was greeted by many nurses who stopped and asked her where she was going, she simply replied she was going for a walk and that she wouldn't leave the ward. She continued to wander about the hospital corridor, but she couldn't actually go anywhere… she had a bracelet round her arm that would set off an alarm if she left. She wandered about for around half an hour then went back to her bed. She was in a hospital; there was nothing she could do in there except get better. She lay awake in her bed and watched the sun rise... she sighed to herself as the big glowing orange ball rose into the blue cloudless skies.

                "It's a new day,"

***

                Paige awoke the next morning to find her ward full of visitors, she was still very tired from her injuries and because she hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. Well not exactly full but less empty than it had been beforehand. She looked around; the ward also had other patients now, a teenage girl, about sixteen and a young boy two at the most. A lot of the visitors were there to see those two, Paige looked around disappointed, and she couldn't see anyone visiting her.  She turned onto her side looking blankly out the door; she closed her eyes and started to drift off to sleep. 

                "Hey sleepy head, don't go to sleep now… you'll miss all your presents," said a familiar voice, Paige opened her eyes and looked up at a smiling Phoebe. She was holding a large gift basket with lots of things brimming out over the sides.

                "Hey Phoebe," she said forcing a smile, she sat up in her bed and allowed Phoebe to fluff her pillows for her before sitting down on her bed.

                "Well someone certainly seems more chipper than they did yesterday," said Phoebe, "It's because of the presents isn't it?" she said putting on a sly smile.

                "Well they certainly help," Paige replied, she lifted her head trying to see what was in the basket, "Can I have?" she asked reaching her arms out, the long sleeves on her nightgown slid up to reveal the blood stained bandages. Seeing the look on Phoebe's face Paige quickly pulled her sleeves down and sat staring at Phoebe. Phoebe coughed lightly and then handed the basket over,

                'There's some Tarot cards, a photo of us, some worry beads, umm… a get well card, a photo of baby Wyatt so you won't forget him," Phoebe paused when she saw Paige smiling,

                "How could I forget someone so cute!" she exclaimed, as she dug her way through the basket. 

                Phoebe and Paige sat talking and occasionally cracking jokes with each other, it was the happiest Paige had been since this whole thing started… it felt good to get her mind off of her parents. But eventually she knew Phoebe would have to go and her mind would wander back to her parents. Phoebe did leave, but not for another hour or so, Paige's doctors visited her not long after that. Her wounds had healed and now after a couple of sessions with the hospital therapist she would be ready to go home. At first Paige wasn't sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing; she wandered back to her bed and looked around her basket arranging everything neatly. Then she came to the photo's one of baby Wyatt, he must have been a couple of days old at most, and the other of her family. Piper and Leo standing to the right of the photograph, Leo had his arm around Piper who was heavily pregnant at the time and Phoebe stood next to Paige, her arm around her waist hugging her with sisterly love. Paige studied the photos and felt a tear come to her eyes. 

                "I have to get better," she said aloud… "For them,"

A/N Hey sorry its been so long for me to write this chapter guys I've had serious writer's block. Hope you like it plz r&r


	7. PsychoAnalysis

Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed or any of the other characters etc

A/N: Ok so I know I haven't updated in like forever but hey I'm back now and ready to write more of this story.

Psycho-Analysis  

Paige sat alone in the large room; she still wore a dismal hospital gown that hung loosely to her voluptuous figure. She sat on one of those couches with ones one head rest, though she was not lying with her head resting on it. She looked around the room; there were many framed diplomas along the wall. The hospitals psychiatrist was obviously proud of his or her qualifications. Paige hadn't been told if the therapist was a man or woman, they had always been referred to as Dr Morton. Suddenly she heard the door handle click, and in walked a young looking woman. Earlier thirties if anything, her blonde hair was pulled back into a high pleat, with a couple of hair grips holding back the few straggling hairs. Her blue eyes were hidden behind a pair of square glasses with rounded corners. She was wearing black skirt that stopped just above her knees with a fitted jacket and white blouse. She walked behind that large desk that was in front of Paige and sat down. She removed her jacket and sat staring at Paige.  She opened the date book that sat in front of her, and scrolled down with her finger,

                "2:00pm, Paige Matthews," she said looking up from her date book, Paige smiled,

                "Paige Matthews reporting for sanity," Paige swung her legs onto the couch then stopped suddenly, "I don't mean to be rude but I don't want to do this. But I know I have to and I'll co-operate and look at your ink blots but I don't want to be friends here," she looked at the small woman who sat behind the desk,

                "We're not going to be friends Paige," she replied solemnly, her replied shocked Paige causing her to sit up. The woman wandered round to the front of her desk and perched on the corner of it.

                "I don't understand how you can help me if you don't even know me," Paige said brashly,  

                "As I understand it you have friends already, and two sisters… a brother in law and a new nephew, how I'm I doing so far?" Paige looked shocked once more,

                "A little too well how do you know all this?" Paige asked,

                "Its part of my job to research my patients before they come to me for help, and that's why you're here so I can help you… the only thing I don't know anything about is your parents. So let's start with why you tried to kill yourself?"

                Paige sighed, she knew that she would have to discuss things eventually but she didn't think the woman would jump right into the subject. "It was nothing really, I'm much better now. I feel fine, I'm sleeping right through the night, no nightmares nothing… really" said Paige,

                "But you're bringing me in at the end of the movie. I want to see the entire film, so start at the beginning,"

                "Well I was stressed; the death of my parents was bothering me, and I sort of freaked out," Paige sighed, hoping that the therapist would leave things at that. But she didn't, Paige didn't expect really her not to ask more questions.

                "So tell me why you were so bothered about your parents death at this time, why it began to bother you so much just now," Paige lay back resting her head on the couch, then began to talk.

                Paige sat back in her hospital bed awaiting the doctors to come and assess her, to see if she was ready to be let out or not. She had spoken to Dr Morton for an hour and half; the session ended in tears and left Paige's face red and blotchy. She sat waiting for the doctors to finish with the man in the bed next to her and for the curtains to open. She was watching the television or at least pretending to, it was some talk show about something or other… Paige wasn't paying attention at all. She heard the curtains open and the doctors walk over to her; she swung her head round and looked at them. A couple of qualified doctors were standing with clipboards and some student nurses behind them. A male doctor with small round glasses and round bald head walked over to Paige,

                "How are you today Paige?" he asked, getting his biro ready to write,

                "I'm fine, ready to go home really," said Paige in an upbeat disposition, hoping her happy mood would let them discharge her.

                "Well you do seem much happier than you have been recently, how was your session with Dr Morton yesterday?" he asked noting some things down on his clipboard, the students stared at Paige occasionally moving their glance to the doctor.

                "The session was excellent, I really feel better and ready to go home, now," Paige looked towards to ground, "can I go home yet?"

                "Well we've been monitoring your progress very closely and you've made leaps and bound in getting better, you're sleeping all the way through the night. No dreams or shouting in your sleep, you've been eating well. Your physical wounds have healed. All in all I think you're ready to go home today, but that's only physically not mentally or emotionally. However my superiors think that you're ready to leave and you can discharge your self against my recommendation if you want, but I strongly…"

                "I'm going home," Paige replied stubbornly and that was the end of the converstation.


	8. The fight

Disclaimer: as usual

The Fight

Pain, hurt, anger… Pain hurt anger...

Paige sat in the attic, with a piece of white chalk in her hand. Her finger tips stained white, she wrote the above and continually said it aloud.  She must have filled have the attic walls with the same piece of writing by now and she had only been home for an hour at most. Phoebe and Piper stood in that attic doorway watching Paige. Perhaps she had not been ready to return home,

                "Piper, I think we should go in and talk to her," said Phoebe, temporarily switching her gaze from Paige to Piper.

                "And say what Phoebe? Until she opens up what can we do or say that will make her feel better?" Asked Piper, sighing

                "I get what you're saying, but I can't just sit back and do nothing until Paige is ready to open up to us. She's getting worse as the minutes go past. And I'm fed up watching my sister like this. We have to help her…" said Phoebe her voice trailing off. "I know what to do," she said as she left the attic doorway and walked down the stairs, she went into the living room and sat down beside the book of shadows. Piper walked in to the living room a few seconds after Phoebe.

                "Phoebe! What are you doing? We can't use magic to help Paige!" said Piper disapprovingly.

                "Well we can't do nothing, and its not personal gain… it's for Paige." She replied, "I know a spell," she Phoebe as she began flipping through the pages of the book. 

                "No!" said Piper firmly as she grabbed the book and began to walk away from Phoebe,

                "Don't Piper! Don't walk away from me!" Yelled Phoebe, "This is the only way to help Paige! I have too," she began but Piper cut her off,

                "You have to what!!! Make things worse, this spell your going to use will only make this shoddier and we don't need that and neither does Paige!" she yelled throwing the book against the wall,

                "The spell will work…" began Phoebe yelling, she took a deep breath in and let it out again, then lowering her voice she continued, "it will work Piper, its just a simple spell to get rid of the pain," Both sisters were in tears at this point, "that's all it will do,"

                "Are you completely stupid Phoebe!" shouted Piper, "don't you remember what happened to Prue when she tried to take the pain away from someone, it moved on to her and she almost killed herself!"

                "Well Prue's dead!" yelled Phoebe, then realising what she had said she cupped her hand over her mouth, "Piper, I'm sor…" she began but Piper butted in again,

                "You think I don't know this, and you think I don't miss her!!! She's gone and there's nothing anyone can do to bring her back, and that's why you can't do this spell, because if you take away Paige's pain then you'll be just as upset as she is now and I don't want to loose you either!" Piper broke down and collapsed on the floor "I just can't loose you Phoebe," She said, crying. Phoebe ran over to her and hugged her sister, but pulled back when she saw Paige standing at the foot of the stairs.

                "Paige, are you okay? We were…" Phoebe began but she stopped talking when Paige raised her arm signalling her to stop, Piper swivelled round and faced Paige.

                "I'm ready to talk," she said.

a/n: I know I screwed up in the last chapter saying her wounds had healed it was a slight typo I meant to say the her wounds had begun to heal. Hope you enjoy.


	9. The art of conversation

Disclaimer: as usual

The art of conversation

                Paige walked into living room and sat on the couch, letting her body just flop onto it. Her limbs hung lifelessly by her side, she waited for Phoebe and Piper to sit down beside, her. But they didn't, the say on the couch opposite her, she sighed 

                "Hey does anyone want some tea, I could make some lemon grass or blackcurrant flavour?" Phoebe went to nod but saw the saw the look on Paige's face and shook her head signalling no.

                "Not that I don't love your tea but if I don't get started now I never will," said Paige sighing. She looked at Piper who had sat down beside Phoebe and waited Paige to talk.

                "I know that you guys have been worried about me and I know me not telling you what's been wrong with me has been making things worse. But I just could tell you, and I think I'm finally ready." She paused and looked straight into the eyes of her sisters, "As you know or you might now, the 23rd of this month was the anniversary of my parent's death. I had been thinking about it for a while and when it hit me what day it was I just sunk into this depression. Which is normal for that day but I usually get over it in a couple of days and get on with my life. But things were just so crazy this year, and when the day came I thought for a moment that I'd forgotten them because of how busy I've been. And that just triggered it.  You know my parents died in a car crash, but what you don't know is that it was my fault. I'm the reason they're dead." She paused and sniffed wiping away tears that had formed in her eyes. 

                "Paige, it was an accident… you didn't kill your parents," said Phoebe shaking her head and trying to hold back tears,

                "But I did…" sobbed Paige, "We were fighting; I was in trouble at school… as usual. I was such a disappointment and they were finally going to try and do something about it… they were shouting at me and I was yelling back. My dad wasn't watching the road, and we crashed. I can't remember everything, I can't even remember what we were fighting about well I mean what the words were. But everything seemed to go in slow motion, the car flipping over and my parents screaming, me screaming… then the next thing I knew I was rolling on the street, watching the car burn. The flames, red hot and not dying down. So you see I killed them! If I hadn't been arguing with them, my dad would have been watching the road and he wouldn't have crashed and they wouldn't be dead! They would be dead!" Paige finished and broke down into tears, not holding anything back her tears flooded down her cheeks, Piper and Phoebe jumped off they're seats and walked over to Paige, they wrapped their arms around her and cried with her. 

***

3 Hours Later

                When the crying had subdued, the three sisters drifted to sleep on the couch, Piper resting her head on Phoebe chest and Phoebe lying with her arm round Paige. Paige drifted in and out of sleep, her eyes fluttered open and closed. Suddenly she jolted upright pushed Phoebe's grip away, she walked through to the kitchen in some sort of a trance. Her legs barely moving as she walked in small, slow steps.  She walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. There was a pen and paper sitting on the table, she picked up the peen and began to write. Half an hour passed, and more tears fell, Paige finished her letter and walked through to the living room and gently placed the letter in Piper's pocket.  She walked upstairs into the bathroom and searched around the medical cabinet. She pulled out various bottles of pills and went back into her bed room. She closed the door and walked over to her stereo and pressed play on the CD player. "Wild Horses" by The Sundays came on; the mellow beat of the music filled the room. Paige turned the volume up full letting the music fill her. She walked over to the bed and let the pill bottles fall out of her hand and land on the bedspread. She opened each one in turn and let the pills spill out onto her hand, she swallowed pill after pill. Until she started feeling dizzy. She sat down on the floor and continued to swallow…

A/N This fic is nearly finished I hope everyone who is reading it is enjoying it so far. Only about 2-3 chapters left. 


	10. Wild Horses

Disclaimer: I don't own charmed

"Wild Horses"

                Downstairs Piper awoke hearing the soft music; she woke Phoebe and followed the sound of the music. She climbed the stairs that seemed to go on forever. Then eventually found herself at Paige's bedroom door, joined by Phoebe not long after.  Piper knocked lightly on the door, suddenly feeling a familiar sense of dread she began pounding on the door. But her banging could not be heard over the music. She began to yell Paige's name but again it was muffled by the sounds of the music, fresh tears poured out Piper's eyes as she hammered on the door. Phoebe was now shouting too after realising what was going on. They continued to pound and pull at the handle until they had broken the door open. Luckily enough Paige's door had the weakest lock in the house. They burst in and ran over to Paige's bed where she was sprawled out, a pill bottle in her hand. Her eyes open but her gaze cast upwards towards the ceiling. Phoebe lifted her wrist and checked for a pulse, but they were still bandaged, she moved her hand up to her neck, she held her fingers there for a second. 

                "There's no pulse," she said as she lifted her hands away from Paige's neck and cupped them round her mouth.

                "No!" yelled Piper, "Paige, wake up… Paige, Please… you've got to wake up," she yelled, she shook Paige's limp body then let her body collapse on top of her sister. "Please Paige, don't go," she sobbed.  "Don't go," Phoebe lay down beside Paige and Piper, tears dripping onto the bedspread. The sister's sat beside Paige for an hour though it seemed like more. Their eye lids becoming heavy, Piper sat up and wiped her eye, sniffing. She moved off the bed and felt something in her pocket jag into her. She reaching into the pocket and pulled out a white envelope addressed to her and Phoebe. She opened it up and began to read…

A/N: Ok so I know this was a really short chapter… that's why I uploaded it with the previous chapter, so there was more for you guys to read. R&R.


	11. To say goodbye

Disclaimer: as usual

To say goodbye

                Piper, Phoebe and Leo stood at the front of the crowd in the crematorium. Listening to the pastor talking about life and death, none of them were really listening. Tears streamed down their faces, Leo put his arm round Piper and she cuddled into his warm embrace as the pastor lit a match and lit Paige's body on fire. As the flames swallowed her body, Phoebe and Piper walked closer to them. Staring deep into them, Piper placed a hand just beside them so she could feel the warmth on her fingers,

                "Goodbye Paige," she whispered and stepped back, cuddling into Leo once more. Phoebe looked down at Paige's burning body,

                "Wild Horse, little sister, Wild Horses… won't drag you away. Goodbye…"

***

                Dear my beloved family,

                                                                Piper, Phoebe, and Leo, I know you wanted to save me but I couldn't be saved. This is the best option; I'm done with this life. I was told that living was easy to do, but it's hard and painful. And I've had enough of the pain and suffering… please doesn't mourn for me. Just go on living, without me. Because you know that wild horses… can't drag me away from you.  Nothing can take me away… I will always be there in spirit. There was a time when I would've of tried to fight this thing, but I'm fed up fighting just do me one favour. Understand what this means and take it into account… I quit.  I'm falling overboard, please don't save me…

                Love always, Paige.

A/N: Ok that's me finally finished this fic. Please r&r and tell me what you think. Thanx xx


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